I struggle with this a lot. I’m usually friendly and outgoing, but I find myself not wanting to engage with people, because of the constant nastiness I encounter in small weekly exchanges just living life. I’m exhausted with how cruel people are, especially where I live (NY suburb) where people live in bubbles, feel very free with their insults, bigotry, and narrow minded opinions on just about everything. Quite often, a simple exchange at a grocery store, at a doctor’s appointment, etc. turns into a barrage of unsolicited opinions, one nastier than the next, and I’m just trying to get through the day. I notice the way people talk to me, and to each other, and none of it is acceptable. It’s unsettling that some people find very obvious pleasure in what has become normalized rudeness and it is disheartening.
On the 5th of January 2021, I was in the hospital having brain surgery. I awoke the next day to the worst day in our nation. I had a stroke, and the most scary surgery on top of that. When healing all the past few years I have seen this lack of empathy, it is pathetic beyond measure. Class is absolutely exposed for most, but not enough exposure for the wealthy's lack of empathy. Karma still exists, sometimes one gets this view publicly, sometimes privately. Privately is a chance to be better, publicly is your chance thrown away.
One other thing: I'd love to contribute to your work, but I have the same problem you have. Lots of subscribers, not so much income. When I have more, I will pay. Thanks for continuing your work. I am rooting for you.
I am so sorry that you almost got hit by a car (so typical the way folks drive, especially in New York). I hear you about the disillusionment and frustration and the constant lack of care. I hope you remain okay.
Far be it for me to critique the popular notion of the empathy gap, but I do think that it does us a disservice to call a historical and societal phenomenon a gap. It's good old American individualism, tied as it is to capitalism (especially consumer capitalism) and a host of other -isms. The sheer lack of empathy is really a sign of a collective narcissism, the kind that is so pervasive that it seeps into ordinary, everyday interactions. It means that to be a New Yorker, a Marylander, an American, or even a Westerner, means never saying you're are sorry or responsible for anything. It may mean begrudgingly saying "I'm sorry if you are offended by..." as a non-apology, though.
I honestly think that a society built on African enslavement, Indigenous genocide, colonization of various "others," and the economic exploitation of "white trash" but with the promise of racist superiority over "others" cannot help but be a narcissistic one. That things are worse than they were 10 or 20 or even 50 years ago in terms of empathy, I do think that this is true. But I also think that if narcissism is really a societal issue, that the only way to close the empathy abyss is to remake the country itself.
I struggle with this a lot. I’m usually friendly and outgoing, but I find myself not wanting to engage with people, because of the constant nastiness I encounter in small weekly exchanges just living life. I’m exhausted with how cruel people are, especially where I live (NY suburb) where people live in bubbles, feel very free with their insults, bigotry, and narrow minded opinions on just about everything. Quite often, a simple exchange at a grocery store, at a doctor’s appointment, etc. turns into a barrage of unsolicited opinions, one nastier than the next, and I’m just trying to get through the day. I notice the way people talk to me, and to each other, and none of it is acceptable. It’s unsettling that some people find very obvious pleasure in what has become normalized rudeness and it is disheartening.
On the 5th of January 2021, I was in the hospital having brain surgery. I awoke the next day to the worst day in our nation. I had a stroke, and the most scary surgery on top of that. When healing all the past few years I have seen this lack of empathy, it is pathetic beyond measure. Class is absolutely exposed for most, but not enough exposure for the wealthy's lack of empathy. Karma still exists, sometimes one gets this view publicly, sometimes privately. Privately is a chance to be better, publicly is your chance thrown away.
One other thing: I'd love to contribute to your work, but I have the same problem you have. Lots of subscribers, not so much income. When I have more, I will pay. Thanks for continuing your work. I am rooting for you.
I am so sorry that you almost got hit by a car (so typical the way folks drive, especially in New York). I hear you about the disillusionment and frustration and the constant lack of care. I hope you remain okay.
Far be it for me to critique the popular notion of the empathy gap, but I do think that it does us a disservice to call a historical and societal phenomenon a gap. It's good old American individualism, tied as it is to capitalism (especially consumer capitalism) and a host of other -isms. The sheer lack of empathy is really a sign of a collective narcissism, the kind that is so pervasive that it seeps into ordinary, everyday interactions. It means that to be a New Yorker, a Marylander, an American, or even a Westerner, means never saying you're are sorry or responsible for anything. It may mean begrudgingly saying "I'm sorry if you are offended by..." as a non-apology, though.
I honestly think that a society built on African enslavement, Indigenous genocide, colonization of various "others," and the economic exploitation of "white trash" but with the promise of racist superiority over "others" cannot help but be a narcissistic one. That things are worse than they were 10 or 20 or even 50 years ago in terms of empathy, I do think that this is true. But I also think that if narcissism is really a societal issue, that the only way to close the empathy abyss is to remake the country itself.
I really want to make a video/ audio content about this. I can't type it out how correct you are. I have so much to say with this.
Thanks for the link to the Takeaway episodes.